welcome back singapore!!!

after A YEAR... my ban was lifted. Very thankful to my parents in law for keep appealing for me and my prayers answered!I thought i will be forever cant come back and hopeless that my relationship with sam will be gone...but he never let go my hand..and same as i am. We hold each other no matter how difficult it is.Hubby called to tell me the good news but i nvr thought that it so soon. Followed by mother in law call...father in law call they racing call me to say the GOOD NEWS!!I feel excited..happy...sad.. mixed emotions!:) THEN ON the next 2 days they call me again to tell me sam book ard the ticket to fetch we all. Happy! we will be together again after a long time. Happy! that now we can play with our babies together,watch them grow, enjoy with them:) thats all after that like one blink i ard in singapore airport immigration office hahah,,,but no worries coz i all have black in white papers that id been approve to come back.:( only sad because they deport my friend. was trying to help her...but i forget..i also cant help myself hahahah more funny and irritating moments before i fly back but its long story to tell..so i want to start my story about starting i came back singapore:)

dying heart

Time goes by...so many changes in my life...specially in my relationship wif hubby.I wanted to understand but most of the time really i cant understand him..Felt so sad for his changed..i dunno whats happening behind my back..but i feel nervous..that history maybe repeating ryt now...he say i just think too much but..cant blame me for this...he really change a lot the way he treated me. the way he care me..im scared to get fall again. thinking of ranning away before i get hurt badly n cant stand back my feet again.but thinking of my babies kip holding me back. what should i do??stay n stay unhappy???dont stay n make my children unhappy...y like this? cant feel tat love is in the air.depressed..stress..hais..want to go  far away land and forget everything bout my heart.."TOO MUCH LOVE WILL KILL U"...tired loving u...wish i can say gudbye..but my heart so pain to say gudbye...wish i can just close my eyes but i cant...pain makes me numb..same way wif him...can just let go each other???hais...watever...i want holiday...

sad!sad!sad!

  UNHAPPY!!!! last nyt til now...

Wish i can ran away all alone...but i dont have the courage to leave..

its all about money management...

I can say im ard blessed to have parents in law supporting me financially all the way...but sometimes i find myself not contented and still facing financial problems>>I dunno how to manage the allowance tey sending me every two weeks..sometimes my husband wonderin and ask me so many "whys"...make me damn piss off him cos even my ownself wonderin why is it so fast...i answer him..("Try to put urself on my shoe" or i should scan a reciept every cents i spend and send u?) sometimes id been to harsh n my words...but i know nth wrong of his questions..and i know the money tey sending me is a hard earn money of his parents...thats why everytime i keep fighting wif him about "working" issue that until now he nvr accept. asking his permission to work but he doesnt want me to..for no valid reason..use babies as the reasons why i cant work. He doesnt understand my point..really difficult to explain when the person dun want to listen at all. I feel shy to my parents in law for givin them so much headaches n expenses....and a lot more..i wanted to help in simple way to make myself useful too...but this deaf pig dun understand me at all!!!onli  know how to think i money face..if i were just givin a chance to work n earn money on my own..i know i can help n our family..now feelin useless n handicapped..hais..looking forward n the future...i keep asking myself" wat if someday nobody support me anymore?" who will still hire me wen im ard old n not fit to work?"GRRRR...but i ask this to my husband ard but his mouth always got a stupid answer!!!make me piss off him ...but still i choose to kip quite n put his words n my ear n let it come out to another ear..hehehe. i still believe n myself..but dun have courage to disappoint him.When can i be free to have my own decision??? sometimes feel sad...reminiscin my old past..now totally change from the last time me..im a hard headed person before,ill do watever i want,not afraid to face the risk...but now...theres a lots of things stoping me n make me think twice before doin a decisions..but i still wishing and hoping someday my dearest pig can understand wat i want...feelin sick,tired,unhappy wif my life..but ofcourse im happy to have this family...onli the things i want nvr goes on the way i wanted it be...


here comes our house expenses:

1.electric bill-php3000

2.water bill-php300 to 500

3.washing machine-php 735

4.sofa-php 1,176

5.milk and diapers-php 2000

6.nannies-php 2000

7.BOO allowance-100 per day X 5days=500X2 weeks=php1000

8.food everyday-300 per day  X15days=4500(breaksfast,lunch,dinner)-1month 9000

9.rice supply-1000 a month

10.fare when go out...babies vitamins...vaccines sometimes..gas...some extras...f got school events...etc.etc.etc...ps havent included our daily things need for everyday...soap,shampoos..laundry soaps..etc.etc.etc.

TOTALS=php3000

                         500

                         735

                       1176

                       2000

                       2000

                       1000

                       4500

                       1000

                                                                        _________________

                                                             php15,911.00 every month spend

Theres a tagalog saying- "Habang maiksi ang kumot matotong      mamaluktot"- translate in english??? ur problem nah...my english sucks.i oso dunno how to translate it...bye!!! enjoy reading asawa then now u know the expenses and u no nid to ask me me next time...follow up the reciepts then u no nid to wonder...hahaha. nvr bluff u...hahaha loves u!!!my piggy!!!

 

JULy 27,2010- BOO SCHOOL "NUTRITION MONTH CELEBRATION"

GO..GROW..AND GLOW..been busy thinking of wat to present in his school. I have no idea at all! give me such headache..but i dun have any choice so i must do something for my boo for his sake.Teachers appoint parents to do each child a headress decorated wif veggie...a slogan/poster wif a nutrition theme...bring nutritious menu cook from home and a trisikad ride wif green leafy vegetables decorations..so here...i tried my very best ard...

b

Boo headress: hahaha i knot the long bean,sew the okra,chop cucumber,and slice squash put together on the native hat i buy for him.i know so ugly but its ok lah boo oso nvr yawyaw.hahaha just dont care nah if his hat wont win..as long as he have.ryt?

Boo n Harley Slogan on the top of their trisikad ride. draw wif crawling baby(wif a jose rizal hairstyle) hahaha and a mother breastfeeding her baby (wif papaya susu) hahaha with interpretation what foods are healthy for baby..Take note!!! our slogan win 2nd placer compete to other schools..and individual judging..hahaha. win 200 pesos cash...

 decorated the trisikad wif green leafy vegetables wif fruit...i so fck up to wake up so early in the morning 4 o clock just to decorate this pedicab..hais...go market buy vegetables and fruits so early in the morning oso...

 some of the parents enjoy walking parade but im not...i hired car to go to the venue first n meet boo there. i lazy to walk...tired n sleepy so i choose to ride than to walk. Walk till city no way!!!bring my daugther vic wif me so i dont dare walk wif sun shining bright...hahaha

reach the venue we take pics wif my daughter victoria n my fellow parents...the date of celebration is exactly 27th july..but i guess my friend set it late..tats y the pic got 26th of july...using her  camera.see my baby eating unhealthy pacifier hehehe

here comes boo...now complaining about his hat say the wire i use to tie veggie pok his scalp..hehehe

                                            Boo and Nene

                              Boo and his partner Harley 

                 Harley n his mother Julie...Boo and Me as a team

                                           me and grace 

 the program havent finish yet but i force boo to go home,cos there too hot and im so hungry and tired..n guess boo,vic and the nanny feel the same way wif me too .so we secretly escape from the place and lucky teacher so busy nvr notice we escaping hahaha..but today id learn something about parenting "Your children need your presence more than your presents".

Never ruin an apology with an excuse.

June 04,2010-Just wish to say sorry to u,yesterday my attitude i give u is no good.I dont like u to always blame on me for nth.Hope u will be more understanding toward me.

June 11,2010-sorry na cause i watch football..Africa vs Mexico,i dont mean to irritate u..so sorry asawa,u sleep early tmr morning i cal u? Love u sweet dreams gud nite!

June 24,2010-morning my dear asawa,i wake up so early to study again."SORRY" yesterday i have not been a good boy,play darts till ignore u.So sorry love u so much.

July 02.2010-okok sorry na.I dunno u waiting for me eh cause u put offline. Hay naku sorry na if i done anything u dun like but just dont keep saying i wif other people.

July 16,2010-Sorry na to pissed u off,I dunno i will make u so pissed off eh. Forgive me k?Nxt time if i got off,i try not to go out till so late.Love u sorry..

July 19,2010-Sorry baby kho.I really intend to call u when i reach work.Thought u still sleeping cause ytd make u tired.Didnt know u will get angry when i didnt call u. so sorry to make u angry in the morning.

July 21,2010-I say sorry ard.U sleep well.I sincerely apologize that i make u angry.I just want u to know I love u.Good night

Time02:15:38-Sorry nvr reply.I in toilet diarrhea.Asawa pls na i beg u i dun want quarrel i just want to behappy wif you thats all. Really sorry today pissed you off.I love u good night


Time14:07:15-Asawa pls peace on earth.I lose na sorry.I now go see doctor then will be meeting Andy for dinner.Asawa pls dont treat me so bad can?I know my fault na


Hubby msgs from my fon...saving it here to remind me how many times i get angry wif him n how many times he did sorry to me...lol. i found every minute i angry,i lose 60 seconds of happiness!You can make up a quarrel but, it will always show where it was patched.